Maintaining relationships during pregnancy

When you’re pregnant and going through such a huge life change, talking is more important than ever and it’s the time to be entirely open and direct about your needs, fears, and desires as well as taking time to acknowledge and understand how others are feeling too.

Is maintaining healthy family relationships high on your list of priorities? The answer will very much depend on your own life values.

Seek first to understand and then be understood

If you’re currently seeking guidance around relationship breakdown with your loved ones or tension within families during your pregnancy, you should find this blog post interesting.

Underpinning all relationships is communication and with every problem we experience there will always be a solution, if we want it. Maintaining relationships, with or without being pregnant, can often be a challenge. So here are some interesting facts and tips to help your relationships flourish. I can’t give you a magic wand to make all disagreements vanish, tension fade or love last forever (no-one can!) but I can give you some simple principles to apply when communicating during this period.

Becoming a parent is the most amazing transition in life however it can also be enormously stressful. It’s not surprising that relationships that were more functional, solid and healthier prior to the pregnancy stand a better chance of surviving it. I always say pregnancy and birth is the easy part, becoming a parent is a whole new level that no-one really prepares us for.  Until now.

What instantly sprung to mind when I think about maintaining relationships during this period was a conversation I had with a friend many years ago who was pregnant with twins. Her exact words to me were, ‘if a relationship isn’t strong enough in the first place it’s about to be tested to its limit during pregnancy’. She’s is right.

I hold two very interesting beliefs around relationships;

  • Not all relationship last forever. Some people come in our life to teach us lesson, bring us gifts, to love us, improve us in some way or to even make us question our own worth and life path. They say people come into our lives for a reason, season or a life time. I agree. Understanding this helps me to maintain the natural relationship stream.
  • If we love first and unconditionally we can then trust the natural flow of a relationship and how it unfolds and therefore, love it for all what it is.

Maybe you could take some time here to think about what your beliefs are around maintaining a relationship and what’s important to you in keeping relationships strong during your pregnancy.  These conversations are so important to have yet, in the mix of pregnancy hormones and other emotions, it’s often over looked. Healthy relationships is all about time; so give yourself time to figure things out at a deep level and understand if a mutual agreement can be formed. It’s OK not to agree on everything. However, sometimes the result is to end the relationship – it needs to be mutually fulfilling – or to have some time apart. You need space to create space, love, understanding or whatever the relationship requires. Even if you’re very much together, you still need some time alone.

I guess the key here is to slow things down, step back and work things out rather than go all in guns blazing where nothing really gets resolved. Take the lead, take control and take responsibility for what is true to you and cooperate together. I think what’s important to understand here is to maintain relationships is completely separate from managing emotions. This is something I will come back to in another post.

We are always communicating and how the way we communicate with ourselves massively impacts all relationships. Regular readers and clients will know that’s a core to how I work. Everything in life is a relationship; a connection, a choice, a bond and therefore, a form of communication. Communication is in consent flow and never stops. Whenever there is any form of connection or social contact, there is communication. Becoming aware of the way we are communicating with ourselves and other people is a vital first step in improving our relationships. If you do nothing else, becoming more conscious of the way to interact with other people will make an enormous difference to the quality of your relationships.

Becoming a parent is a challenge and learning ways to effectively communicate is the most important skill you will learn with each other and for your children’s futures.  Every doubt and self-doubt puts a strain on a relationship. Pregnancy might be one of the most challenging periods in any relationship, as it’s the end of one era and the beginning of the start of something beautiful. That, of course, can cause self-doubt. No wonder we wobble and question if we can handle such change!

Here’s my go to principles list to get you started, keep you on track and make parenting life a little easier.

  • Communicate
  • Understand the cause
  • Resolve at a deeper level
  • Build bridges not barriers
  • Trust
  • Timing is key
  • Take responsibility for your actions
  • Be proactive
  • Seek connection
  • Talk to others
  • Be sensitive
  • Meet each other’s needs.
  • Work together
  • Walk and talk about it
  • Celebrate what’s going well
  • Get support
  • Seek professional help
  • Purchase I Am Born Lucky course – work through this together.
  • Learn together
  • Cooperate
  • Be flexible
  • Understand there is no failure
  • Learn to meditate
  • Keep calm
  • Know what your outcome is

If you’ve not already done so , sign up for my Parenting Dream Ritual. Parenting can be what you want it to be, but first you need to be clear on what that is. This ritual gets you working together on your fears, needs and desires around pregnancy, birth, early days of parenting and uncovering further discussion around long term parenting goals.

Remember – you will both go through pregnancy, through the birth, through the ups and downs and through the challenges – you are both pregnant and becoming parents.

Much Love for now

Suzi B

Love   Protect   Respect


 

I’d love to hear from you about ways you create more inner peace and add to this list…. Just message me or tag me on Instagram with #suzibinnerpeace

My intention is to post weekly and I invite you to contact me with any topics you’d like me to post about. Is there anything you would like us to discuss or receive tips and advice on? My mission is to reach more people and via the blog and through it I can offer you a FREE way to connect with me, wherever you are in the world. Together we can support each other. Call this a gift from me to you. If you’d like to work with me, or have a personal issue you’d like to resolve, please book a FREE clarity focus call to look at the possibility of working together x

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